Ever wonder why this blue boy-wonder is always smiling? You're about to find out.

Originally cast as an "all mighty god," the embodiment of "Better City, Better Life" can get as "high as he wants," his best friend is "Pi Pi" (doesn't rhyme with "pie"), is a 7-year old coffee addict, and he'll soon be "coming" enthusiastically on over 200 channels worldwide.

Shanghai Daily reported yesterday on the world's most bizarre one-child Expo welcoming committee / androgynoid intergalactic peace enforcer. There's a cartoon being created around him... her... uh... it, and the official language is so loaded with inadvertant Freudian slips and accidental stoner references you have to wonder if someone isn't somehow doing it all on purpose.

The piece starts out innocently enough, with typical embellishment of Haibao's global signifcance:

MORE people, especially children, have started to recognize Haibao, the mascot of the World Expo 2010 Shanghai. With the event coming closer, the sea-blue, elf-like figure waving two hands and with a shock of hair sticking up at the top of his "head," like an unruly curl, has become popular among more people around the world.

We've never heard of an elf whose "head" you need quotation marks to describe...

But do you know whether Haibao is a boy or girl? 

That is a toughie...

Haibao is a seven-year-old boy creature from the sea. 

Sweet... they said "boy creature"!

The cartoon series "Coming Haibao" will be telecast on about 200 channels around world next spring.

OMG - they didn't! Yes they did! They're calling it "Coming Haibao!" Perhaps the curl is a reservoir tip, after all? 

In the story, Haibao will live in a Shanghai longtang (lane) house with another friend, Pi Pi, and his parents.

Did they just call a character "pee pee"? Do we even want to know the parents' names?

...the directors' team originally cast Haibao as an "all mighty god" who could save the world.

Ah yes, the essential China PR question... all powerful tyrant-savior or innocent child?

Sometimes, Haibao will become sad because he does not have a mother.

Aw, just like Bambi!

The cartoon's target audience is children between six to 10 years old, but adults will also be entertained by the funny dialogue and interesting plots.

No doubt -- we're totally entertained! More! More!

Haibao's Vital Stats (no kidding, this is from Shanghai Daily)

Name: Haibao

Gender: a boyish character

Very liberal use of the word "boyish" here, we'd say.

Height: can be as high as he wants.

Ha ha! Yes!

Hobby: taking baths and dancing.

Doesn't get more boyish than that does it?

Favorite beverage: coffee-tea which helps keep him reinvigorated anytime so that he can welcome guests from all over the world to Expo Shanghai.

Awesome, so like a combo of South Park's "Tweak" and "Towelie" characters with just a dash of a bathing Richard Simmons in there for good measure.

It makes you wonder.... With all the energy Shanghai has recenly devoted to eradicating the amusingly mangled English we see on signs around town with its recent Chinglish rectification campaign, you'd imagine someone would take a minute to vet the English presenting Shanghai's international spokesperson of choice to the world but... they didn't, thankfully, and yes, we are entertained.

Thank you Shanghai Expo PR people, whoever you are!

More Shanghai Expo 2010 related content on ChinaTravel.net:

Like American Expo pavilion, Haibao suddenly better endowed 
Cirque du Soleil's Shanghai Expo 2010 program details emerge
China visa update: latest Shanghai Expo 2010 visa rules 
Shanghai Expo Transportation
Shanghai Expo Tickets